The Wrath of Psychological English Contemplations

Happily skipping through the joy of writing the second book in my trilogy (the first of which I have not published, but have sent out to my writing club for analysis) I came across some intense blogs.  I'll note that they were highly useful (mainly because the keepers of said blogs are now followers, so my natural insanity is not intended to reflect badly upon them or their attempts at assisting us with writing concepts) to the general populace, I'm sure, but to me a psychotically-obsessed-occasionally-diluted-insomniatic-writer I found that I started second guessing everything.  Here, take a seat, I will tell you the story, in my own font :P

 I like to stay on top of blogs that I find particularly informative, especially when it comes to writing techniques. Often, I find myself nodding my head in agreement over some little used concept and frantically taking notes on how to improve it in my own writing.  A lot of the time it's about word count, or choosing genre or improving query letters, all things that made sense to me after only a short review.  Then I came across the dreaded SHOW VS. TELL *insert terrified shriek here*

I read a blog that led me to one, then two and then a third link all explaining this mystifying concept of show vs. tell.  It was truly horrifying because, although I like to view myself as a well-adjusted-mildly-educated-objectively-contemplative-adult-woman, I realized that I had no idea whatsoever what the stupid Show vs. Tell was. BLAH. Show - so, you show things are happening?  Tell - so you tell about those things happening?  But if your writing, isn't all of your telling also showing and all of your showing also telling, because technically you are telling the reader everything, and in that they are being shown what is happening and therefore you are using show and tell simultaneously?  How in heavens name am I ever to separate the two? *hands over kleenex and tylenol, proceeds to pull out hair in frustration, as shown in picture below*

 

If it hasn't occurred to you, I am a handicapped over-thinker. As the dust cleared I realized I needed some simple examples, which I found on a corresponding website, which I also posted an appreciative comment on (thank you mysterious blog person! You are awesome in your simplicity). From there unfortunately, the damage was done.  I was haunted late at night over the affects of this small passage, pointed out by some dude in Colorado: 

Then, in a totally unexpected move, the black wings spread wide and it circled into the air…

VS

The tiny insect-crawl of the second hand was the last thing she saw before the lights went out.

Brilliant isn't it?  Yes, the second sentence literally took my breath away I was awed by it so.  That sentence alone kept me up at nights, biting my nails furiously as I stared at my untouched computer.  I knew I was not that brilliant, and my story was severely filled with TELLING and not SHOWING.  It horrified me, the poor pathetic multi-re-written and sadly-abused manuscript now had failed at one of the greatest things I could possibly have given it...the life was literally sucked out of the whole endeavor, leaving only a throbbing pain in my heart, a reminder of what could have been but never would be, because I had overlooked the intense importance of Show vs. Tell.  

O, black devil of English Writing Techniques, why is it you haunted me when my ignorant bliss was so joyful without your cold dark hand on my heart? *sniffles*

Like the complete lack of Edward in New Moon, my life too became empty, hour after hour I sat, avoiding even the smallest stares from my small black laptop.  My work was over before it even began and I was doooomed...DOOOOMED...I say!...to failure. 

I could not bear to look at it, nay even touch it for the atrocity I had committed.  I was forced to actually do housework and check my mailbox yet again because of all the free time I had on my hands.  

And then...the fear faded and I risked a glimpse a peek at my sadly beloved.  The words I stared at, glancing over my computerized manuscript...weeping over the time I had denied it over the past few days.  My eyes fell upon a sentence...and then another...and another...all of which were actually showing instead of just telling. My breathing slowed and I steadied.  Excitement replaced the fear and intense agony I had been enveloped only moments before.

I WAS SHOWING NOT TELLING!!!!

Again, I could pick up my black laptop and together it and I shall finish my book!!!! *JOY and BLISS all around*

And, thus I come to an end of my story.  My manuscript is far from perfect, and I'm certain years from now I will laugh at my own naive' writing, but today I am proud of it!  What more could an aspiring writer ask for?!