Crazy files

So, yeah, I did decide to do the intensely disturbing act of organizing the folders on my two laptops (count them, not one, but TWO!) my jump drive, phone card and Ipod, and syncrinyse them. It would have gone over much better if I could actually spell syncrynize (yep, got it wrong that time too.) Anyway, so I've spent the day organizing that, along with making breakfast (pancakes and overcooked eggs) and cleaning my house, which included doing two loads of laundry (though it looks like we have about three more to go). I also spent the day arguing with my lovely six year old daughter who doesn't like my music and is strangely involved with Techno (I'm blaming YouTube, and let it be a warning to all the mothers out there). Apparently she is an avid fan of Sailormoon and it has a lot of techno connected to it's fanbase.
Somehow I feel a little crazy about the whole thing not to mention the massive feelings of guilt I have for not being the greatest mother in the world. I'll fess up. I'm a homeschooler, and it's a little intimidating. I mean I know Lincoln only went to sixth grade and still made it as president, but I really would rather play it safe and have my kid actually consistently learning just so she can be somewhat literate as she grows up. I mean, I was homeschooled for a while and I' came out find :P
Anyway, there's this mild joy that comes with blogging on this because I don't have to worry about anyone I know actually reading so I feel I can be a lot more honest. Let's just put it this way. Over the last couple of years I think I can honestly say I was going insane. I'm not joking either (ha ha ha). I've been pretty close to turning myself into a clinic somewhere (but since I don't have magic powers...j/k) but I think I've mostly gotten past that extremely rocky hill and not there really isn't a lot left for me. I guess I feel like I'm on a plateau and I'm just tired of climbing. I just feel tired.
Without having my own school classes to push me along everything is so much easier and I just want to slump more (can that word even be used in that context?). Slumping...now slumping...calling all slumpers....yeah I think so. Anyway, my house is a lot cleaner than usual, I make more food than usual, shockingly enough I actually do exercise more than usual, but somethings missing. I think I'm actually depressed. I feel it in my soul, just a sickness in the back that keeps being there making me want to give up. Ugh, I hate that feeling. Blah. Anyway, here's goes for my emo posts, yay Emoness! (is that a word?) :P