Thoughts of a Strange Grandpa

It's funny when people die.  You always get told the old stand by "I don't know what to say, but I'm sorry." Even I don't exactly know what to say, I guess I'm sorry it happened too. I feel almost as speechless as everyone else.  I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be crying to myself or just remembering the good times. It always seems worse when young people die because they missed out on so many great experiences - having a family, backpacking through Europe, driving cars, dyeing their hair, eating sushi, seeing the next Harry Potter movie - things like that.  But when you are really really old, is it more of a relief to die?  I know my grandpa was somewhere in his 80's and he had done a lot of things in his life, lots of things I'm sure I have no idea about.  I really didn't know very much about him, which I think is sad, but also some what expected. He didn't live around here and most of my memories stem from when he and grandma would snowbird to Nevada because Washington got too cold.

It's not that I don't have a lot of memories of him, I do, but they are all very similar to each other.  We really didn't hang out and chat about each others lives. I remember grandpa was very consistent at waking up at five every morning and having his cup of coffee, and I always wondered how he pulled it off, because I knew coffee was bad, but grandpa wasn't. I never really thought of him as unpleasant, but he definitely had a gruff way about him.  He did laugh a lot, but I guess it was more like a cackle followed by coughing.  He had his funny moments too, though most of the jokes he told I never thought were funny, I'm sure I was too young to understand them, but he always seemed to be commenting about something and then cackling over it. I kinda thought of grandpa as my older brother Ryan, except a lot more sane and not such a bully.  They looked strangely alike.  It's funny that I knew him all my life but he had already lived sixty + years when we met.

I have one particular memory of him that still makes me smile, it was distinctly different.  Grandpa had taken my younger cousin and me to Smith's one morning, I think with my dad, and dad had gone inside to pick something up.  Laura (my cousin) and I were sitting in the car and rather unexpectedly Grandpa started humming...do dee dum de do...well not exactly humming, but almost singing some really old really slow song to himself. Laura and I looked at each other trying to surpress laughter. Somehow music of any kind and Grandpa didn't seem to go together.  The idea was almost unfathomable and comedic.  Grandpa was kinda old and irritable, where did he ever get a chance to listen to music least of all repeat it? Funny how we view our grandparents.  That was my ten-year-old reaction at least.  It didn't make sense that grandpa could have ever been anything or anyone than who he was now.

My grandparents always had a bit of a love hate relationship (to put it mildly). I thought hanging out with them was somewhat risky because sooner or later grandpa would yell at one of us for something "Don't drop that there! Pick that up!  What do you think you're doing!" or grandma would randomly start crying over who knows what (usually after reading some Louis L'Amour novel).  Spending time with them had it perks though. They both seemed to like having us around.  Grandma would cook something, usually cinnamon rolls or clover buns and distribute them in all their freshly-baked glory and Grandpa just seemed to wander around looking for something useful to do and yelling at my dad about getting things done lol.  But they were family.  It never occurred to me that they were strange or out of place because they were family and that's all that really mattered.

50 Things To Do While I'm Alive

You know, we all hear of someone doing something amazing and we say "Wow, that's so awesome, I wish I could do that!" Well, I'm sick of wishing.  I want to actually do those things I've always wished I could do. But first, I must know what they are, thus the list below. I'm not planning on dying and I don't have terminal cancer, but I think sometimes it's nice to have a direction in your life, so here are my

"50 Things To Do While I'm Alive"

#1. Publish a Novel -  Luckily, I already have one written, so that's not actually as crazy as it sounds.

#2. Learn French - Also luckily, at most colleges you can take French, so that's also not as crazy as it sounds.
#3. Live in France - Yes, this is about as crazy as it sounds :P
#4. Visit Europe - I know that France is in fact, in Europe, but I want to go other places (like England, and Germany and Italy)

#5. Go to a Pub - Don't ask me why, it must be my O'Keefe genes, but a pub sounds awesome.  Even if it's the same thing as a bar, just with Irish accents.  Irish accents make everything cooler (even digging up potatoes)

#6. See Stonehenge - Yes, since I'll be in Europe anyway, Stonehenge is a must.  I would have said "Dance around Stonehenge in the light of the full moon" but I actually think that's illegal.

#7. Visit Egypt - This is necessary because I want to translate some hieroglyphs while I'm there.

#8. Sleep in a Lighthouse - Ever since I was a wee lass this has been a dream of mine.  Preferably one on Prince Edward Island.

#9. Ride a bike on Prince Edward Island - this is of course necessary because I will be able to see much more of the shore while on a bike.
#10. Wade in the Atlantic Ocean - because I've only ever waded in the Pacific.
#11. Own all the books by Lucy Maud Montgomery (even the two I didn't like)- this has been an  ongoing endeavor to have all things Maud, and I'm very nearly done. I believe I'm only about 5-6 books shy. The woman was a genius, and deserves an entire shelf to herself. (he he, that rhymed!)

#12. Be Recognized As An Author by a Stranger - now, this isn't exactly in my hands, but it would be super cool.  Plus every would-be author dreams for that day when someone hears their name, turns to them and says "oh my gosh, your book __________ changed my life!  How did you ever think of that amazing scene where the baby ___________ and the old woman __________? That was incredible!" And you smile and realize all those late nights, crying over agents and publishing and editing and story plots and heroes and heroines was strangely worth it.
#13. Paint Something that Takes My Breath Away - because I am my own worst critic (except for my parents lol)

#14. Change a Tire On My Car By Myself - yes, I've never had to do this, so I thought in case I did, I ought to put in some practice when there's not a lot of pressure.

#15. Climb a Mountain - Preferably one with trees and water, and possibly elves and talking animals, but I won't be too demanding.

#16. Have a daughter named Nimue - yes, this is one of my life goals.  If I'm near death and have no more children, I'll see if Jules can just change her name for me. Maybe I should do it before she turns 18 so we won't fight about it. :P

#17. Own a Farm - not a stinky one, just a dog, five hens and a rooster, a horse and maybe a cow.  That's all, and kept a bit away from my house so I don't smell it all the time.  One with lots of room. It'd be fun to have a pony too, but I don't have to have one.

#18. Find the Perfect Necklace - You may be surprised, but this one has been impossible.  I keep finding necklaces that are nice and pretty and beautiful, but they aren't PERFECT.  They don't look at me and say "I'M YOURS, I WAS MADE FOR YOU!" which is what I'm waiting for.  This actually might be one of the most impossible of my goals. It have to have Braveheart and Egypt and books and writing and metal all meshed into one, yes impossible.

#19. Sing with a Band Once - come one, we have all wanted to jump up there and sing something. Anything, just to do it with the band.

#20. Try escargo - yes, I want snails damn it.

#21. Drink a Cappuccino Outside At A Cafe In France - just like in the movie "Sabrina" preferably while hearing a french song in the distance.

#22. Start A Group Of Cartwheelers On the Road - Yes, I have always dreamed of being on the road with a group of people who want to do a bunch of Cartwheels.  No explanation as to why.

#23. Tell A Boss Off At Work - Then probably quit.  I think secretly we all have wanted to do this.

#24. See O'Keefe Castle - Maybe I will be special lucky and it will be a pub. :P

#25. Look in the Mirror and Feel Perfect - This may sound weird to anyone who isn't a woman :P
#26. Go Hunting At Least Once Successfully - Call it the Katniss in me.
#27. Learn a Martial Art - This is the Ziyi Zhang in me. (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon reference)
#28. Sculpt Something Usable - pot, pan, ceramic container, anything that looks cool.
#29. Play Greensleeves on the Piano - The only reason I ever wanted to play the piano was for this song.

#30. Sing in Front of An Audience - I don't mean with a band.  This is just me singing, for real.

#31. Plan My Funeral - Morbid, but fun.  Morbidly fun.

#32. Read all the Charles Dickens books - I love the ones I have read, they were awesome.

#33. Read the Scriptures From All Major Religions - I think that truth can be found from anywhere.

#34. Visit a Temple from All Major Religions- Yes, I think this would be awesome.  Temples are the best kept buildings of any religion and I think they show a lot about the people who use them.

#35. Go On A Cruise - I've heard these are really cool and fairly inexpensive. Maybe to the Carribean. or Alaska.

#36. Visit Every Continent - Even Antartica - Penguins rock.

#37. Learn Latin - something I've always wanted to do, though it is much harder than it sounds.

#38. Go blonde - I don't mean mentally.  I just want to know what I would look like blonde.  It doesn't even have to be extreme. (yes, that's me, I am tall and beautiful)

#39. Design My Own Tattoo - You know how everyone is like "Man, if I got a tattoo, this is what it would look like" I totally want to be like "yes, this is my awesome Braveheart-ankh-Lucy-Maud-tattoo".
#40. Finish writing my trilogy -1 1/2 done, 1 1/2 to go...
#41. Get my Bachelor's degree - almost done with my Associates (as long as I don't fail Stats! lol)
#42. Make a quilt - like a really big one.
#43. Run a Marathon - like on Biggest Loser

#44. Go Waterskiing  - yes, I've never done this, but it looks cool.
#45. Go Snow Boarding - this also looks cool.
#46. Go to a Broadway Show in New York or London - This of course means I must get to New York or London.
#47. Learn some archery - Again, blame Katniss.

#48. Basket Weave Underwater - j/k, never really cared to do that. Actually this one is Make A Fully French Dinner - and feed it to the people I love ("but mom, I don't want to eat the froggy legs....")this would have to be after living in France.

#49. Visit Every State in the US - I think being a citizen, I really ought to do this.

#50 And finally, Write a Biography - Cause seriously, after all this other crap, don't you think I should at least record it somewhere? :P

PS. Please forgive my if you are OCD and noticed that some words I capitalized and others I didn't.  Yes, I just didn't care after a certain point.
PS2. Also, please don't think of me as shallow and narcissistic, I mean, I know I am, but just because my goals in life seem a little on the wading-end, know that there are deep things I want to accomplish but they aren't exactly things you can do as much as things that happen to you over life (aka become perfect and awesome all at once).  I'm not going to create a wish list for those things, I have to allow them to happen as they happen. :P  And if you have no idea what I'm talking about good for you, contentment is your lot in life.

Too Much To Blog!

   


I made a new friend, her name is Kaitlyn and she is awesome.  She also ended up staying at our house all night, watching Gladiator and 300 (yeah, we were in some sort of Roman mood, probably because I was reading Eat, Pray Love) anyway, my head hurts now cause I only slept about 20 minutes last night (during the end of Gladiator) and now my thoughts are all bunged together (is that word?  I know it's not a cliche') so I'm using my blog to organize my mind a little.


First off, for those in fear that I would fail my Stats test (mainly me!) I don't think I did (this is an attempt to reassure myself though), there were only a few questions on there I really didn't know, so hopefully I'll get a B or even a C.  Passing it would be cool.  I still have to do my two assignments due on Tuesday, and read the next chapter, but yeah, I remembered to take my test.
Geology is totally awesome, I went with my class on a hike to the S and won a cool tee shirt, (Snow college of course) and Juliah came along, learning about shale and chert (aka flint) and landslides and cool stuff like that.
My art class is awesome. I'm going to be painting a picture using soy sauce and a sea shell, seriously cool.  Maybe I'll throw in some mustard.
Acting, not really my cup of tea, but interesting to say the least.  I'm not big on centering myself in the middle of a room full of strangers, but it's certainly pushing me out of my comfort zone, and Dr. K is totally awesome.  Crazy, but awesome.

And now for France. Yes, I love France and I've always wanted to go, but for once I actually am serious about it. 75% serious about it (and this was before ever reading or seeing Eat, Pray, Love, which has only added to the enthusiasm. Probably pushed it up to at least 85%) I need to get out of Sanpete, I really hate this place.  I desperately want to go to Europe, so I'm trying to get a scholarship to study abroad, which hopefully won't be too hard because I'm a single mom. So yeah, France.  Nate and Kaitlyn both want to come so it looks like I'll have roommates. Yay!

Kaitlyn and I have also decided to start writing a bucket list.  I know my #1 is PUBLISH A NOVEL, and #2 is VISIT FRANCE. I know there are a lot of other little things, but those are the two capital ones :P

So, I'm super tired and now that a lot of my thoughts are out, I'm feeling my brain slow down and I may be lucky enough to even take a nap.

Also, after watching 300, it made me ask why we even have people who participate in wars?  I mean, I'm not questioning Braveheart or anything (sacrilege!) , but have you ever wondered why people are occasionally willing to throw their lives away?  I know freedom is all right and good, but what is freedom when your dead?  I'm not sure, not that I want to be a slave or anything, but sometimes I think those he-men-warriors out there are just waiting to throw themselves into a battle. Is it the testosterone? Is it they think everyone will be amazed over their sacrifice? Couldn't they just all talk about it over a nice cup of tea? :P Maybe it doesn't make sense cause my brain is tired, but really, why all the war and bloodshed and death, it seems like there are a lot better ways of doing things, especially if you are a one-life believer, how does that even work?  I hate being philisophical when I'm tired, it makes my head hurt. :S

A Charming conversation

              Eight in the morning is no longer early.  In fact, it's about the time I make it to my first class (which actually starts at 8:30). Yesterday, the art studio was locked and I found myself sitting on blue-carpeted floor of Snow, doing Geology homework.  The hallways were vacant, except for an elderly gentleman who was wearing a dark blue jumpsuit and I surmised was probably a janitor.  I didn't take much notice of him, as a rule, I'm not an initially friendly person at school, I don't say hi and wave first (unless and I know you and your name is Taleah), so I attempted no interaction with him except for the initial glance.  Unfortunately, he caught my eye, and no elder seems to resist a conversation with a willing (or unwilling) victim who looks them straight in the eye.
           "Are you a student here?" he asked me, he had to be in his 70's at least, and I do not sanction manner-less action towards the ancient, so I nodded.
            "Are you a student here?"  I asked with caution, hoping he wasn't a crazed lunatic looking for the old folk's home.
             "Yes, I am, and they told me the classroom would be opened early, but apparently they didn't mean very early."  He said.
           I smiled at him, wondering how long he had been wandering the halls hoping to catch a teacher or at least an open door somewhere.
          "Yeah, college kids get up around 10, so I'm sure your early wasn't quite what they were expecting." I said
          "I think you're right.  I get up at 4:00, and I thought I would wait around til 8:00 to come in.  I was hoping the doors would be open by now."
          "What room were you trying to get into?"  I asked.
           "Sculpture."
           I must have looked surprised, though that did explain the blue jumpsuit.
          "Have you ever seen the movie How to Steal A Million?" He asked as though it explained everything. I shook my head. "It had Audrey Hepburn and that guy from Lawerance of Arabia..."
         Here my ears pricked up, I love Audrey Hepburn and old movies.  I hoped I wouldn't seem like one of those newfangled kids who can't even appreciate a great movie but have to see something blow up every two seconds. I did know my Lawerance of Arabia (survived all four hours of it and loved it).
          "Peter O'Toole." I offered.  Obviously the sculpturing elderly was impressed.  He nodded and smiled.   What Audrey Hepburn and Peter O'Toole had to do with early mornings and sculpturing doors being locked, I could not fathom, but attempted to connect the dots as he spoke.  Explanations are especially entertaining from people whom you aren't certain even have a point. I kept nodding my head and smiling, encouraging him to use more words, more quickly, so that I could put the pieces together, but he obviously had his own timing. He reminded me of Jimmy Stewart, pausing statements to verify if I was still listening.
          More or less the plot Audrey Hepburn's father is a talented artist, specializing in forgeries.  A famous statue has been faked, and before it can be examined for insurance claims, they have to steal it back so that no one realizes it was a fake.  I determined I would have to look it up on Netflix.
          After explaining, he could tell that I was still trying to figure out what Audrey and Peter had to do with him wandering Snow College in search of a professor with a key to the sculpting room.  Was he trying to forge a sculpture and then steal it from a museum? Did he too, have hopes of wooing Audrey from her 60's days, and hadn't realized she had been dead for nearly 20 years?  Was he senile enough that I would have to guide him back home in a The Holiday-like fashion? Luckily, I didn't need to.
         "So, you're probably wondering what that movie had to do with my sculpting?"  He smiled, his eyes actually twinkling. (I swear they were) I must have nodded and smiled, looking like a kid talking to santa.
          "Well, you see, I've always wanted to learn how to sculpt, and I have in the past but this time, I wanted to make a statue of my wife." Aw...how sweet...and very Pygmalion! Please tell me she isn't dead? I'm not ready to weep on the floor of a college while waiting for the door to unlock.
             "I've always wanted to do a sculpture of her like Venus de Milo, even if after ten kids she doesn't exactly have the figure for it anymore." He chuckled
              I had to laugh, and almost cry.  Seriously, I couldn't think of a sweeter thing he could have said.  I've realized my dream is to have a husband who in his 70's and after ten kids together can still sculpture a statue of me being Venus de Milo. What a keeper! (I think I fell in love a little bit).  Soon after a teacher walked in, found keys to my Art room and his sculpture room and we separated, but it made me smile for the rest of the day.


          
       

Satsifaction

What do you get when you stop putting out? Emo boys who need to grow up because they realize they can't push you around anymore.  Oh, and mild stalkers apparently:

"Can I come over?"

"Feel free."

"Um, you wanna do something?"

"Not, really, why are you over here hovering anyway? Don't you have a life somewhere else?" 

"Apparently not."

"I guess I should go home."

"Ya think?"

He he he he...yeah, I've kinda gotten my revenge the last few days and man, it was very sweet *evil laughter*

On a different brighter note, I fell in love...again.  With a fictional character...again.  Curse you Le le and your adorable Angel.  Tidus, is seriously the funnest, sweetest, most amazing angel ever.  I *may* have liked him more than Rafe, but that's cause Rafe wasn't as funny (I still love Rafe *sniffle*) Plus he is all dark and melancholy at first.  Yeah, I love him.  Let the pining for non-existent characters begin! I LOVE YOU TIDUS! :P

Annabeth and Percy

So, it's taken me quite some time to read through the Percy Jackson books (I'm halfway through #4 now) and it has been an awesome adventure.  I pretty much love Percy.  Yeah, totally, his character is hilarious, modest, heroic and still a bit bad ass.  I love it, cause he's also so sweet.  And apparently Annabeth kinda likes him too. *spoiler alert*
When I first read the Harry Potter books I was convinced that Hermione and Harry were totally going to end up together, and then as things progressed I realized that that was not the case.  I was kinda sad, cause they seemed like such a perfect couple (although I'm glad Ron and Hermione got together instead, now). With Percy Jackson there seemed to be some Percy / Annabeth hints, but I wanted to ignore them in case I fell for another couple that wouldn't make it. So I was pretty thrilled with Annabeth finally kissed him. It was so unexpected that I think I reacted a little like Percy, I blinked at the page and had to re-read it three times.  What a shocker.  Who knew Annabeth was such a minx! I certainly never expected anything, although Percy's feelings for her have definitely become more evident recently. 
Anyway, so yeah.  I love Percy, he's awesome.  As is Annabeth.  I want them to live happily ever after.  Only one and a half more books to go and I have the whole day off, and it's raining so I won't feel guilty if I just lay in bed and read all day long :P

Joy of Loud Music

I don't know why, but there is something extremely satisfying about playing loud music that I love. I'm not sure if it's a desire to share an elated emotion with the rest of the world, but part of me loves to roll down my windows and "turn up the beat boys". Why does this desire seem so inherent? Being brought up without any rock and roll for the first 12 years of my life (approximately) I've often wondered if I ruined myself by bringing in all the sounds. I don't have to have music playing all the time(in fact right now all I have is the cooler and the sound of my typing) but there is still a great deal of fulfillment that comes to listening to a song I love. Early in live my dad talked to us about the Book of Adam and Eve where some guy went off and made music, convincing the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve to leave their high places and go dance with the children of Cain (or something to that affect) and since then I've wondered, if I feel a beat and want to move with it, does that mean I've succumb to the call of the devil? :P I don't really know. I love music though, and it makes me want to dance and sing and smile and run and be free all at once. Is it something we aren't meant to have because it's so awesome, or something we shouldn't have because it's so bad? Maybe I will never know. I must be a rebel, because part of me thinks I will always love it no matter how bad it is ;)